How have you been? Me? I've been learning a lot in a very short time. You know, it's interesting; I spent every day last year learning about ME. How I respond to people, what my strengths/weaknesses are, and essentially who I am. Now, I'm learning more about what it is that I want, who it is that I want, and how much I want him. It's been quite the eye opening experience.
So, I have this man in my room. I call him my Flat Hubby (basically put a Flat Stanley and a YW lesson on eternal partners together, and that's what I have in my room). He's perfect in every way. He reminds me of who I want to be, and what is important to me. He's missing something, though. I remember telling my friends that the best way to describe the man that I want to marry in encompassed in a feeling, rather than in a list.
That feeling can most closely be connected to what it feels like to have the spirit with me. He fills my whole heart. Makes me feel beautiful and important in every way. Completes me, and leaves no black holes left in me. We will be one in every way, and will strive to stay that way. I will adore him, and he will adore me.
I want more than everything to be one of those old couples who hold hands in the grocery store. I want to feel that joy that comes from having all of my descendants together in one room, when most of them are married and are starting families of their own. I want to walk the temple with the man I love, knowing that we are together forever.
One day, I will be able to experience these things. That's why I'm shedding so many tears at this point in time, but one day everything will be worth it, and I will feel so much more joy than I can even imagine. I know this. I look forward to how fulfilling these things will be when I look back and am glad that I worked so very hard to earn every last one of them.
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